"My heart is not proud, O LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me."
Psalm 131: 1-2
At the onset of my birthday retreat, I asked the Lord to speak to me in a very special way. I made this trip with a two-fold mission in mind - to celebrate God's faithfulness in the year that was and to seek His direction in the year to come. Like the Jews travelling uphill to Jerusalem to worship, I started my pilgrimage to the mountains. The Song of Ascents (Psalms 120-134) seemed apt for meditation. The words of Psalm 131 spoke to my heart as if mouthing its very desire -- the rested heart.
2009 was a great year indeed. For the most part, it left me overwhelmed as I witnessed and participated in "great and mighty things" God has orchestrated. Far greater things are sure to come next year. And sometimes, my heart could not help but grow restless. The task at hand is a God-sized one and obviously, it will take God Himself to make it a reality. Realizing that humbles me. And allows me to stretch my faith. Yet again.
"I have stilled and quieted my soul..." That is my prayer for 2010. That as I busy my hands on the plow, I shall go forth unruffled by storms of doubt and anxiety, knowing full well that God is in control. He is sovereign still.
There are still a lot of things I need to sort in my life. In my heart, I want to hear from God so badly, to seek His leading in the many major decisions I have to make come 2010. But I choose to be like a weaned child with its mother. Unshaken, basking in the unchallenged truth -- that my God is indeed able and trustworthy.