March 17, 2007

house arrest

Introducing the Nth housemate...
Aimee Ivee Tolentino a.k.a. "The Midnight Muser". (roll VTR...)

Yesterday, my house arrest (for almost a month now) was officially over (woohoo! hello world!). My overly paranoid (yet protective, and loving, and... *wink-wink*) mom deprived me of the privileges of going out of the house since my operation. For very valid reasons. My wound (even until now) hasn't healed fully. I had (and still have to some degree) that weird walk... feet-apart-one-step-at-a-time walk. The rare moment I had the chance to go up and down the stairs proved to be painful (ouchy!). And walking long distances drained the life out of me (exaggeration mine). Allowing me to go out on my own was really out of the question (lest I want to find myself passing out again). Thus, my house arrest.

By far, this has been the longest time I've spent at home for weeks on end. I rarely stay home. Either I'm in church, in a meeting, or I'm OUT with friends for an ET (extended time, Youth@111 lingo). Much of what I do (the ministry, church and beyond!) required me to be out. My house was a place where I could rest my head and enjoy free food, internet, and cable until my next escapade. I might as well be a "boarder" as my mom would always say. To appease her, I did share in some of the household chores, I'd usually take a a day or two off to stay home and slave away with the chores. But that's the most of it.

Putting me on house arrest was plain and simple T-O-R-T-U-R-E for me.

Well, I survived. After four agonizing weeks of imprisonment, I emerged unscathed (and thankfully with my sanity intact). It seemed February and March passed me by. Sadly, it's not for me to ask the world outside to put life on hold until I get mine running again. To my disappointment, the world does not revolve around me. The familiar walls of my home was to be my world, temporarily I hoped.

House arrest is not so bad, I eventually learned. My days were rarely dull. I found that there are thousands of ways to entertain myself and make my day interesting. Most of them waiting to be unearthed in the mundane. To let you in some of my not-so-profound musings...
~ WOWOWEE is more than a game show, I concluded. It is the drama of every ordinary Pinoy's life and dreams. I've laughed and cried at the same time on many instances witnessing original (and hilarious!) anecdotes from very simple people. And no doubt, Pinoys are best in coming up with punchlines. Case in point: "Kung si Gretchen Baretto nga ang yaman-yaman hindi pa nagpapakasal, tayo pa kayang walang pera!" (Background music plays adududu-adadada-ahaha!) Filipinos are generally happy indeed, in spite of, I affirmed.
~ I've taken a fancy in noticing what certain attitudes or characteristics me and my sisters have taken after our parents. And it surprised me to know that I may look a lot like my mom physically (and this is the first time I'm admitting to this!) but I've taken after most of my dad's attitude. While my sisters, who both look a lot like my dad, are very much alike with mom attitude-wise. Example, my tendency to be quiet and cold in the face of conflict is a classic Dad signature. Ate's being simpleng mayabang is definitely from Mommy. Even my younger sister's tiger look is a Mommy trait too! And it was such a blast teasing each other about it. :)
~ Covering books with plastic can be therapeutic. Really! :)
~ On days when I terribly miss the outside world, I found my heart skipping a bit a faster at the slightest sound of our dog barking, secretly wishing someone came to visit. Most of the time, it was no one, a passerby. In fighting my feelings of disappointment, I comfort myself with the certainty that I am loved, no matter what. Demanding to be missed is selfishness on my part. But there were rare instances, that someone did come. And it was just precious. :)
~ Backgammon (my cellphone game) is the American counterpart of sungka...or not. But one thing I do know, it's now my fastest way to get some sleep, especially during nights when sleep is so elusive to me. Black wins!
~ Kris Aquino irritates and amuses me at the same time. She has definitely managed to provide Philippine showbiz interesting twists and turns. I wonder when did she ever had that power. I have a big feeling the marriage will end soon. Poor James. Poor Kris. Poor baby boy Yap.
~ My stitches give me "immunity"... but not all the time. To extend grace when grace is not given you. Sigh...
~ I can choose to be bitter about a lot of things... but I choose to flatter myself instead. :)
~ I want to be remembered for the little things.
~ There is a captivating story in each of us waiting to be unraveled. The key is asking the right question.
~ Sometimes, it takes a heartache to know your heart's true desire. Once you know, it puts everything in perspective. Healing soon comes after. "Non-negotiables and Negotiables"... finally a draft! Polishing soon on its way. :)
~ I want rain on my wedding day. And note, it's outdoors. :)
~ Sitting still takes a lot of discipline. It becomes even harder with too many distractions clamoring for your attention. A few things I learned about myself: I am undisciplined and I think I have ADHD. ;p
~ Words are my main LOVE LANGUAGE... and words, I concluded, scar me the worst.
~ Gel pens make journaling more colorful -- literally and figuratively. :)
~ Most of the time we already know the answer... the problem is, we want more options.
~ I should have joined PBB! ........ NAH!
~ Election is fast approaching. I am nearly convinced that I'll end up voting for the candidates with the most catchy tv ad/jingle/slogan. Zubiri's Boom Tarat, Pichay's Itanim sa Senado, Manny Villar with his conspicuous dance step (if that's what it is)... SCARY! Lord help us..
~ I've come up with a mental "LIST" of all the things I want to do when I have recovered fully... biking, kickboxing, bungy jumping, swimming, sky diving? hmmmm... :)
~ The Lord thugs at my heart in a very special way that He alone can do... my midnight musings... my sacred rendezvous... (but that my friend is another entry...)
In all seriousness, my house arrest gave me my much needed slowing down. YES, I NEEDED TO SLOW DOWN without me knowing it. Perhaps, I was too busy to notice it. But God knew. He knows that if I don't change my pace now, I will get run over by the bigger things that are coming my way. He had to prep me, but the only way to do that is for me to slow down and sit still before Him. And He knew that I won't be doing that anytime soon so it took a cyst, an operation, and my recovery to get my full attention. And did He get my attention! And I'm grateful that He did.
So I'll take house arrest anytime... except... please let it not be another operation. :)

2 comments:

sillyserious said...

hi ai! ive been out of touch too long. u had an operation? gasp! my reading about it on ur blog means u're ok then. hope u are recovering well... i see that even surgery and the consequent 'house arrest' haven't done much to slow that workaholic head of urs. hehe...

the midnight muser said...

too long indeed.. :) well, i know you're very busy... like me! haha! yes i had a cystectomy (right ovarian cyst) last february, and according to my doctor, it will take 2 to 3 months for my FULL recovery. well, like what i blogged i can go out na. but i still need to take things slowly. ikaw? what's the latest with you? you moved na!!! waaaaaahhhh... alam mo ba, if i can remember it correctly you were the one who influenced me to go for blogger... sigh.. but i do like your soliloquies (yes, i bloghop from time to time). i've always found your entries entertaining and stimulating at the same time :) hope everything's going well with you mr. sillyserious. :)