January 25, 2006

bad day

have you ever had those days... when everything seems wrong... when you dread the next nightmarish thing is just waiting to happen? well, today was just that. at the end of the verrry long day, i just burst into tears. my frustrations let out in a brief moment of quiet sobs.
all the thoughts that were wildly bouncing off the walls of my head suddenly poured out in unintelligible mumbles... my repressed anxieties, unspoken doubts, hidden fears, all surfaced in one great force... i could almost feel my heart explode...
the past days had not been good to me. unwelcome circumstances, one after another, have pushed me to the wall, leaving me no choice but to wallow in my tears.
to go on or to change direction. is this really for me? why is it so hard then?
when i stepped out of faith, i didn't know what i was asking for, let alone know what to expect. now I KNOW. and the faith-stretching has just began.
"thank You for bringing us this far... i know You will see us through... to choose faith... and drink the sweetness of every hardship... to trust in You alone..."

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