February 15, 2012

Love Amazing

After 30 years, my dad finally retired from being a seaman.

Even before I was born, Daddy has always been... away. As a child, I grew up thinking, it was normal for fathers to leave their families behind to work in another part of the globe. I remember when I was a kid, I and my sisters would wave at the sight of an airplane flying by, jumping cheerily and shouting piercingly to the skies, "Bye Daddy! Bye Daddy!" thinking every airplane had my dad as its passenger. Most of the time, our playmates would follow suit. We're a bunch of crazy jumping rascals with our arms and heads raised to the heavens until the plane was nowhere in sight.

It was not at all bad. Looking back, I realized how Daddy had lavished us with so many gifts. Only now do I slap myself silly after it dawned on me how I, together with my sisters, had taken everything for granted. Not deliberately. Perhaps, we just didn't see the value of things then.

Case in point, in elementary, when everyone else was using Panda ballpens, I and my sisters used Parker. The kind that came in a set, with fountain pen and mechanical pen. And we would just throw them away once they ran out of ink. We were kids! We were too young to differentiate between colors then, much more know about brands! We had Barbies. Plural. Barbies. Complete with a selection of shoes, wardrobes, makeup and accessories. And a swimming pool set, the one that made bubbles in the water. But poor Barbie, she did not remain beautiful for long. Not in our hands. We played with her as if she was a regular plastic doll. With hair all in tangles and face painted hideously with layers and layers of makeup, she was ravaged. Every year we would throw the old ragged doll in exchange for a new one. We owned Game 'N Watch and Talking Whiz Kid, and we never fully understood the wide-eyed stares from our playmates as they dabbled with the gadgets.

As teenagers, we unknowingly carried that same attitude. We were the first to sport high-cut Kaypees way before it made a name here in Manila. Our school bag was nothing less than United Colors of Benetton. We switched wristwatches from Swatch to Benetton to Guess. Our scent, strangers to Johnson's Baby Cologne, was Cool Water, Tatiana, and Elizabeth Arden. Our video gaming evolved from playing Circus Charlie in Atari to playing Super Mario Brothers in Nintendo. By now you would have guessed, we used and threw them away as easily.

Now an adult, without a watch on my wrist and could barely even afford a bottle of imported cologne, I wish I were more grateful back then.

In the same manner, don't we sometimes take God's love for granted? If we are truly honest with ourselves, most times we are a bunch of ingrates who either think God is obliged to give us or He owes us. And yet, thankful or not, God continues to bless us with so much more. "...He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." He loves perfectly... unconditionally. If we can only "grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge".  To see the cross for all its worth -- God's relentless and overwhelming love for a world lost in depraved indifference. Maybe, just maybe, we will respond to His love with a profound sense of awed gratefulness.

As for me, God's favor has been overtaking me, in ways I feel I am unworthy. Yet, He chooses to pour His blessings on me. And I am awed, and deeply grateful. 

To love the Giver more than the gifts. 
His presence more than His promise. 
I am learning. I pray. 
Thankful for Your love amazing. 


roanareyes said...

<3 <3 super well-written Ate Ai :) i wish i could write again, too! And as good as you! Hee.

God is <3!

the midnight muser said...

Roana dear, you are too kind. Thank you... I encourage you to write... just write from the heart... you have a story worth-telling. :)